What are true friends?

Today, things happened... not BIG things but things that made me ponder about the true meaning of friendships.

What is friendship?

Being nice to one another?

Having fun with one another?

Having mutual respect for one another?

Looking after each other?

Hanging out with each other?

I'm not having a breakdown... I'm not going to start bawling my eyes out after this post. BUT what is the true meaning of friendship? For many years, i have believed that it was mutual respect and joy with others.but through this year... that doesn't seem to be case.

Too much drama

Too much things that i don't want to be part of. Sometimes i ask myself, "why me? why does everything happen to me?". I know saying this is selfish. because I'm not the only one that shit happens to. Its just my human brain that is making me think this. But who can you blame? Ahh well... there are many things that amaze me in life... ANYWAYS back to what i was talking about!

I don't' know who to trust anymore. Whenever i talk to someone i think, "Does she secretly hate me?", "Will she talk behind my back if we fight", "Is she acting nice JUST because?". I feel so insecure. Although everyday i act happy and hyper... it doesn't mean that I'm happy or in a good mood at all. I just feel like my problems are my own business and that no one else should be bothered by them. After all everyone has their own matters to worry about...

I guess this means that I'm the "master of faces" in a way... Its not like i can act very well... (i got C+ in drama in grade 3 :P heehee) but its that i can mask my emotions really easily. However everyone has their flaws. There are some moments where i can't mask them. My emotions are either in overdrive or I'm too tired to care about what people think about me....I guess it would be a good idea to let this out to one of my best friends.. but will they always be your best friend? It takes years to build a relationship but minutes to break them. How will i know that i can trust them? I DO trust people... but there are only a few who i can ACTUALLY reveal everything too... there are too many people who nonchalantly reveal everything to everyone without realizing it. Not like i can blame them... i do that sometimes as well.

This post is WAYYYYYYYYYYY to long... i have to end it soon... i guess i haven't really finished what i had to say and instead started on several topics all together XD darn... Me=Fail. But before i end this... i need to send a few messages out there. I'm not a hater. And truly i try not to hate... but its so hard.

#1 Don't act like you know everything... you need to know both sides before you can assume something
#2 Why are you acting like that? Many may like you but... your hiding your true self...
#3 No one has the right to say if any one's pretty or ugly. Firstly, no asked for your opinion. No one cares. What are you trying to prove? Do you think your pretty and awesome just because you say that? I'm sorry if your pretty than your only pretty on the outside.. your insides might by pitch black for all i care. Are you happy? That your good at putting down others? I'm sorry but through that comment I've lost so much respect for you.
#4 You can't just ignore everything around you.
#5 Try. If you were once friends, you can be friends again... just try
#6 I'm sorry. But i can't pity you... i agree. I haven't experienced what you have. But you HAVE to understand... there's always someone in the world that is in a worse situation than you have. Suck it up and continue living.
#7 Suicide is the dumbest thing alive. Why would you waste your precious life or people or events that happen?
#8 I'm jealous what can i say?